shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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