Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
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