I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
whose ass print is on the piano?
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
Randomize
