A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Randomize
