I look better un-naked...
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
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