Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
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i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
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I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
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