You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
Randomize