If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
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Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
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We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
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