Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
he had hair everywhere except his balls
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
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