There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize
