Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
