He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
Randomize
