I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
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