no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
Randomize
