I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize
