i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Randomize
