I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
Yo dont text me then not text me
At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
Randomize
