Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
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