I like my sex mixed with concussions.
He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
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