Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
Randomize
