I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
i used baking grease as lip gloss
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
