I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
you will always have a special place in my vag
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
Randomize
