I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
Randomize
