his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
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