wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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