yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
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