I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
