the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Randomize
