Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
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