Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
We're too hungover to prance.
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
Randomize