She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
we're so committed to being not committed
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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