This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Randomize