Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
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Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
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