Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
