We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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