thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
