Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
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