Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
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