omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
As shirtless as possible
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
Randomize
