i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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