Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
You are the jesus of drinking
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
