I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
he told me I talked like a deaf person
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
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