The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
Randomize
