if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
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