We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
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