I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
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