What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
Randomize
