Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
