i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
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