We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
Randomize
