Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
