i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
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