omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
Randomize
