Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
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she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
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I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
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