it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Randomize
