Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
Randomize
