Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
Randomize
