So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Randomize
