Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
