if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Randomize
