I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
