maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
I showed him my bush... on skype.
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Randomize
