I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
Boobs speak an international language.
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
Randomize
