sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
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